


I Think He's Just Dehydrated

by YourIdiotWriter



Series: Prompt Fills [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-03
Updated: 2014-12-03
Packaged: 2018-02-27 23:47:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2711162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourIdiotWriter/pseuds/YourIdiotWriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Modern AU in which Sasuke's pet dies and Itachi is a moron.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Think He's Just Dehydrated

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt by writworld.tumblr.com

It’s three in the afternoon. The sun is shining and the weather is warm - not enough for a sweater, and just right to show off a new skirt. Instead of enjoying the weather, however, Sasuke and Itachi sit in the living room, staring intently at the glass tank that houses their pet.

"It’s been five minutes." Sasuke says, briefly looking away to check the clock.

"So it has." Itachi murmurs.

"He hasn’t moved in five minutes."

"So he has not."

Sasuke frowns, contemplating whether or not he was annoyed enough tell his brother to shut up.

"He’s dead."

"You don’t know that."

"After wasting five entire minutes of my life, I have reason to believe that it’s deader than mom’s petunias."

"That isn’t nice." Itachi scolds, though he can’t deny that her petunia’s have been feeling a little crisp lately. "You’ve been feeding him, haven’t you?"

"Yeah. I have a stupid alarm set and everything." Sasuke mutters. "He’s totally dead."

Itachi hums in thought. He thinks up every possibility that might explain the current predicament and perks up when he thinks of something reasonable enough. 

"It’s been rather hot lately. I think he’s just dehydrated."

"Oh my god," Sasuke groans. "He’s a  _fish._ ”

"Really?"

“ _Oh my god._ " Sasuke groans louder. "What the hell did you think was living in this thing for the past three years?!"

"I don’t know, a snake?"

He now contemplates whether or not Itachi is being enough of a moron for it to be appropriate to hit a blind man.

"Why the hell would you think a snake was living in a tank full of water?"

"Water snake?"

Sasuke smacks his brother in the head and gets up.

"Where are you going?" Itachi gets up as well, walking after his brother’s footsteps. "I’m sorry if I offended you. I’m also sorry about your fish. You took good care of him."

"Whatever." Sasuke grabs an empty bucket from under the sink and shoves it into his brother’s chest. "Just help me drain the tank."

He takes a large cup and quietly empties the tank into the bucket until the tank is light enough to be carried.

"Grab the other side," he tells Itachi while gripping two corners of the tank.

Itachi brushes his fingers against the side of the tank until he finds the corners. On three, they lift, and Sasuke guides them out to the backyard, where he’ll drain the rest of the tank and probably make a grave after telling Itachi to go away.

As he shuffles backwards, however, Sasuke knocks his heel into the door frame and ends up stumbling backwards. The tank hits the balcony with a loud crash and water splashes everywhere, soaking his legs and back.

There is a moment of silence as Sasuke just lays on the ground, elbows and lower-back stinging in pain. Itachi doesn’t move, as he’s worried about stepping on any broken glass with his bare feet.

"…Okay,  _now_  he’s probably dehy—”

“ _Shut up._ ”

**Author's Note:**

> Smooth, Itachi. Real smooth.


End file.
